Trust in Nature

Today as I walked in the woods I felt immense gratitude. Gratitude for this place, for my ability to be there today. Gratitude for the space that the forest holds for me to heal, to be witnessed in my healing and how it holds sacred space for me no matter what I need on any given day, whether I know what that is or not. And often, like today, I did not.

As I walked, often stopping to give thanks as certain sensations and thoughts came over me, I reflected on how the forest seems to open me up, letting the surface be brushed off to expose what’s underneath, what needs to be seen and heard.

I’ve cried in this forest many times. I am comforted by the balanced energy of the trees, the sound of the creek and the rustling of the wind through the leaves, the earthy smell, the soft breeze against my skin, its beauty.

As I hugged a large Douglas fir on the edge of the trail I noticed it’s sturdiness, its strength, its reliability. I was enveloped in a reassuring energy, like getting a hug with a gentle pat on the back with a “there there, everything will be ok.”

This calm reassuring presence isn’t something I remember having in my life growing up. There was a lot of trauma and turmoil in my life and today I wondered if that’s another reason I was attracted to nature and being outdoors. It’s a place without doctors where I didn’t have to worry about surgeries and could pretend life was”normal”.  A place where my family dynamics didn’t matter and where I could feel connected, a place to get away, somewhere my brain and nervous system could regulate in a balanced environment of peace and calm.

As I grew older I always liked walking but never really thought about it until the last 10 years or so.  ( I didn’t get my license until I was 26! ) It gave me time to think, to shake off what ever negative energy had accumulated, to reenergize myself with music in my headphones. These days I’m more intentional when I walk, it’s not just when I have a place to get to. Now it’s the place to BE.

Walking on the streets was a different kind of nature but I did learn to trust my instincts. Now it feels like a different kind of instincts in the forest and along the trial but really it’s not. I suppose it’s just the dangers or risks that are different.

Relearning to trust my instincts and myself after an abusive marriage and divorce took a while and is still a work in progress at times. The tricky part has been trusting others. So it seems as though I’ll start with other beings, the trees.

I can practice being open and vulnerable, its like a muscle that needs practice to get stronger. I practice being true to who I am and being authentic. I no longer care if someone walking by sees me hugging a tree, taking a moment to let it all sink in, or as I walk barefoot and stop to squish my toes in the mud.

The trees don’t judge or ridicule. With the acceptance of nature I have become someone who is no longer afraid to show up as my true self and to look deeper within. On the good days and the bad days I can walk into the woods and know I am in a supportive and healing place. And that’s exactly what happens, I heal, I learn, I grow and I take all that back into the rest of my life as I connect with people, knowing that it’s ok to be open and trust. I know not everyone may understand or accept me and that ok, they aren’t my people. I can set boundaries and only share what I want with who I want. And that’s ok because that’s trusting myself to do and be what’s best for me.

Nature has taught me to trust and to also that I can be the strong, sturdy reliable presence in my life.

It so often goes back to “be like a tree!

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#lifecoach #naturecoach #natureheals #trust